Archetypes Emotional Intelligence Leadership Personal Growth

Dear Carey: Overcoming the Stigma of Being Too Emotional: A Path to Confident Leadership

Cheryl’s Assessment Results

  • Fire: 80.1%
  • Earth: 72%
  • Metal: 63%
  • Water: 61.2%
  • Wood: 63.9%

Cheryl’s Challenge

Dear Carey,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am reaching out to you today seeking guidance and advice on a challenge I’ve been facing. I have a deep desire to transition into a leadership role, but I’m concerned about how to manage my emotions effectively so that I’m taken seriously in my pretty male-dominated industry.

I’ve always believed that relationships are the most important aspect of the human experience, and I’m constantly working on myself to be able to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. I am passionate about connecting with people and discovering new ways to solve challenges. Additionally, I have a strong desire to create financial success for myself because I believe it would enable me to help others and, in turn, better myself.

However, despite all this potential and ambition, I often find myself in an internal struggle. There are times when I’m haunted by intrusive thoughts, like lingering feelings about an ex-partner, even though I’m happily committed to someone else. I also struggle with my eating patterns. At my lowest moments, I’ve felt an overwhelming urge to walk away and distance myself from others when life doesn’t seem fair. Impatience is another challenge, both with myself and the people around me. There are moments when my emotions seem larger than life, making me question whether others perceive me as too needy or vulnerable.

Moreover, I am highly accomplished in my field and very much want a more leadership-oriented role. I excel when I’m in the company of people and when brainstorming innovative solutions that benefit teams and organizations. However, I’m uncertain about how to make this transition and I’m afraid of not being taken seriously – even though I am overly qualified. These challenges lead me to seek a deeper understanding of myself and others by cultivating awareness and consciousness.

I have tried various approaches to address these emotional challenges, including apps, therapy, coaching, and even tarot cards, but I haven’t achieved the desired results. I receive limited ah-ha moments, but no real step-by-step advice to move things forward. My ultimate goal is to navigate these feelings effectively and to be taken seriously as I move into interviewing for and becoming successful in a leadership role.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, and any advice or insights you can offer on managing emotions during this transition would be greatly appreciated. I’m looking forward to your wisdom and guidance.

Desired Change

Help me manage my emotions effectively in order to be taken seriously as I transition into a leadership role.

The Solution

To address Cheryl’s challenge, it’s crucial to consider her unique personality traits, as revealed by her assessment results. Cheryl’s dominant Fire archetype, secondary Earth archetype, and lower tendencies toward Water, Metal, and Wood can lead to intense emotions, confusion, and a desire to withdraw during stress. This can create inner disharmony, causing her to doubt her own abilities and reluctance to stand up for herself, or address challenge without avoidant behavior.

Cheryl’s desire for compassionate connections can sometimes trigger a fear of losing love when she worries excessively about others’ willingness to stay connected. This, in turn, intensifies her urge to withdraw. In the context of the Five Archetypes, Cheryl’s journey toward greater emotional flexibility involves creating a healthy inner dialogue and self-empathy. She also needs to learn how to adapt and navigate effectively during moments of heightened emotional reactivity when encountering people who may not show appreciation for who she is and who express dissenting or critical opinions.


To help Cheryl overcome this challenge, the following steps are recommended:

  1. Balance Fire: Take regular breaks during the day to engage in enjoyable activities, such as chatting with a friend, playing a game, or watching a comedy.
  2. Increase Wood: Incorporate daily physical activity using various exercises. Review your daily agenda each morning to prioritize your tasks effectively.
  3. Balance Earth: Consume nourishing foods daily to support your well-being. Look for opportunities to share your expertise with others by teaching what you excel at.
  4. Increase Metal: Establish a daily morning ritual that includes expressing gratitude for the people and things that contribute to your fulfilling life.
  5. Increase Water: Focus on maintaining adequate hydration and ensuring quality sleep. This will enhance your ability to approach information with a healthy level of skepticism, avoiding immediate acceptance of everything you hear.

By following these steps, Cheryl will gradually reduce emotional reactivity in stressful situations, improve her capacity to listen calmly, and develop a broader range of leadership skills. This will boost her confidence as she prepares for a role overseeing others.

What’s Next? Teach Me to Grow Too!

Do you have a life challenge that feels like it’s on repeat? Revealing the underlying dynamics and applying the compassionate Five Archetypes path to unraveling them leads to rapid relief and infinite options.

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