Relationships are hard.
Learning to truly listen makes them easier.
Shhh. Listen. I know you can hear it.
Out and about in the world, if you get quiet enough, I bet you notice the consistent hum of what sounds like a collective sigh, or a coordinated group groan. It’s the pain of disharmony in relationships – with ourselves, with each other and with our communities. Our discomfort is a reflection of how much we wish we could feel better and recover. Fast.
Of course we want out of situations that don’t feel good. We are a culture addicted to comfort. We can’t tolerate feeling the pain of relationships not going our way, of people disagreeing with us, of our partners growing in ways unfamiliar to us.
Instead, we like the staus quo. We like predictable – as long as it’s our kind of predictable.
Show up. Tow the line. Do what you’ve always done.
Just. Don’t. Change.
Because I can’t handle it.
NEWS FLASH THOUGH…
Listening from your heart is likely to be new for most of you, but I have faith! You’ve got this! When we really crave a better life, we make it happen.
- STEP 1: Start by slowing down in conflict. Pause rather than hurrying to fix the discomfort fast.
- STEP 2: When you’ve slowed your thoughts and breath, you can begin to listen. Listening from your heart means you’re able to notice small things you may have missed in your panic / blaming mode. Listen with your heart to notice patterns within yourself and within others involved in the conflict.
- STEP 3: Notice and write down – without criticism – all the opportunities for solutions that arise based on the patterns of thoughts and behaviors you noticed when you got still.